The Hotel California of Managed Services: How DigitalOcean Trapped Our 800GB Database

Two years ago, after almost a decade of loyalty to DigitalOcean, I made what I thought was a smart, strategic decision: moving Zonmaster’s massive 800GB MySQL database into DigitalOcean’s Managed Database service.

We’d been with DO since 2015. Back then, they were scrappy, developer-focused, and fast-moving — just like us. So when they started promoting their managed database services, we listened. They pitched us the usual benefits: ease, performance, security. I wanted to believe in it. I wanted to stop babysitting backups at 3 a.m. and focus on the product. We were growing. It made sense.

It was a mistake.

Today, we are trapped. And I don’t mean that metaphorically.

DigitalOcean’s Managed MySQL is, quite literally, a one-way street. You can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave. It is the Hotel California of managed services.

What Went Wrong?

Let me be clear: getting the data into their managed service was easy. That’s part of the trap. The door in is wide open. We moved 800GB into their environment without much fuss.

Fast forward to now — we want to get out.

Why? Because Zonmaster is at a turning point. After years of running and growing this business, I’m exploring a sale. But that requires infrastructure flexibility — and the ability to move the database to a new environment, clean up unused data, or even just make a full physical copy.

Here’s where the nightmare begins.

DigitalOcean only offers one way to get your data out of their managed MySQL service: mysqldump.

If you’ve ever tried to dump and restore an 800GB MySQL database using mysqldump, you’ll know that this is not a solution. It’s a joke. It’s like being handed a teaspoon and told to empty a swimming pool.

We set up a serious server — full production-ready specs — and tried it. Not a simulation. Not a guess. A full dump and restore test took 5 days.

Now imagine what that means. We would need to take Zonmaster offline for five full days to make the migration — assuming nothing breaks mid-restore. And that’s just for the copy. During that downtime, no new data can be written. No customer activity. No syncing. Dead in the water.

That’s a business-killing proposition. And for us, it’s deal-breaking. We can’t migrate, and we can’t sell unless we migrate.

Better Tools Exist — But DigitalOcean Blocks Them

There’s a better way to back up and restore large MySQL databases: Percona’s XtraBackup. Anyone who has ever managed real data at scale knows it.

XtraBackup is fast, reliable, and supports hot backups. But it requires a specific MySQL permission: BACKUP_ADMIN.

DigitalOcean doesn’t allow you to grant that permission on their managed service. We asked. We begged. We sent screenshots of the Percona docs. Their reply?

“It is not possible to add BACKUP_ADMIN or use XtraBackup with managed MySQL.”

Well okay then.

How about replication? Surely we could set up a replica server, sync it, then promote it to master and cut over.

Nope.

“It is not possible to set up replication on a managed database.”

They also refuse to give us access to the binary logs needed to configure our own replication. So we can’t use Percona. We can’t use replication. We can’t use SnapShooter for a usable backup (it uses mysqldump under the hood). And we can’t access the raw files.

We’re locked in, held hostage by the very company we trusted to reduce our infrastructure burden.

The Support Experience

DigitalOcean support has been… well, polite.

But every conversation feels like a brush-off. Here’s a greatest-hits list of their responses:

“I apologize for the confusion, but we do not offer any database migration services.”

“SnapShooter utilizes mysqldump for MySQL backups, which can be challenging for large databases due to extended backup and restore times.”

“You will need to use the MySQL legacy dump method to download the data.”

“It is not possible to set up replication on managed database. If you want to take the backup of managed database, the only available option is to take dump.”

Translation? You’re screwed.

We’re not asking for hand-holding. We’ve run production systems for over a decade. What we needed was access and flexibility. What we got was a wall.

What It Means for Our Business

This isn’t just frustrating. It’s devastating.

We were ready to sell. We have buyers. But we can’t move off this infrastructure. And no buyer wants to inherit a platform they can’t migrate or maintain.

This isn’t some cautionary tale about picking the wrong hosting provider for a hobby project. This is the kind of trap that kills real businesses with real customers and real revenue.

It didn’t have to be this way. If DigitalOcean simply allowed binlog access or enabled BACKUP_ADMIN, we could be out by now.

Instead, we’re planning an emergency migration of every single thing we can. After more than 10 years with DigitalOcean, and tens of thousands of dollars spent, I will never go back.

Everything will be moved — except the one thing we can’t escape from: their Hotel California of a database service.

Advice to Other Founders

If you’re thinking of using DigitalOcean Managed MySQL, let me offer you a simple warning:

Don’t. Ever.

Unless you’re 100% sure you’ll never need to export, replicate, or migrate your data — unless you like living in fear of massive downtime and irreversible lock-in — stay far away.

I know it sounds tempting. They make it easy to sign up, easy to migrate in, and hard to resist with all the talk of managed backups and security.

But once you’re in, you’re in. Not like a valued customer. Like a prisoner.

What’s Next

We’re spending the next few weeks tearing out DigitalOcean from Zonmaster’s infrastructure. It breaks my heart, because I once truly believed in them.

But trust is earned. And lock-in is never the solution.

If you’re a developer, solopreneur, or startup founder navigating infrastructure decisions — know that these choices matter more than you think. If you want to hear more stories like this (and how to avoid them), you might enjoy From Monkey to Mogul — my book on the real truths of building and selling businesses.

As for us?

We’ll escape eventually. One dump file at a time.

👉 If you’ve been burned by lock-in or have better cloud migration stories, I’d love to hear them in the comments.